Jan 26th

“The pie is called a four twenty I think, but it’s not available until 10am” – café waitress first excites and then destroys Brent in a matter of seconds

This morning we had our last walk to Bluestone Café, the closest place we found to get a decent latte. For Australia Day they were offering cheap flat whites (apparently our national drink), lamingtons and meat pies. They also offer a vegemite-avocado smash, which sounds like an Australian owner just taking the piss. The fact the pies weren’t available for breakfast was almost un-Australian.

In a few hours we’ll be on our way to the airport for the marathon trip back home. Frankie had a decent sleep this morning so should be in fine form the whole way. Jada needed a second suitcase for her shopping. Fran is looking forward to a few wines on the plane. Brent is regretting dry January for the 26^th day in a row.

There’s a lot of things we’re going to miss. Awesome new stuff to see every day, cheap shopping, unbelievable food choices, amazing sights, crowded subways (err maybe not), Central Park and quality family time.

However there’s also a lot of things we’re excited about getting back to. Jada can’t wait to see her mum and (maybe less so) start her new course. We’re also looking forward to warmth, puppies, siren-less nights, coffee within 10 blocks and babysitters for Frankie.

We’ve had a great time – best holiday ever – and would like to thank you for reading our blogs. If you liked the sound of New York, and have never been here before, then get your ass into gear and get over here. You gotta take it baby, they ain’t gonna give it to ya!

– Jada, Frankie, Fran and Brent

Jan 25th

“You got it, I believe in you!” – motivational guy following Jada up the subway steps

I thought I just had to talk about today, but apparently, I have to talk about the shows I’ve been to and everything else. So here I go.

First, I saw Wicked with Dad on Tuesday night. Before the show we went to a diner called Juniors which has the aesthetic of the Grease era. Was that like the 80’s or the 90’s? I have no idea, I was born this century. Anyway we had disco fries which are fries with cheese and gravy, but apart from that there was nothing particularly disco-ey about them. The chicken wings however were exactly as advertised.

The show was like Wizard of Oz except if all your favourite characters turned out to be horrible. Just like real life I guess. The highlight was definitely the costumes and the special effects and all of that jazz, it was a real Broadway production. Ironically there was no jazz.

On Wednesday night I saw Aladdin with Fran. There’s a lot to Aladdin – so like, the original was meant to be more of a musical but I assume Disney had to appeal to the male market by including action sequences, so they cut a bunch of songs out, but later they decided they had to do something with all of the cut songs so they made a musical out of it. Or something like that, maybe I’m thinking too deeply about it. Anyway it was a great show.

So today I got to spend the morning at home which was nice and restful. But then I had to go shopping with Fran – technically it was optional, but for the sake of comedic effect I’m going to pretend I was dragged out – and after hours and hours of looking around and shopping and having a fun time, everything went downhill from there. We somehow got on the wrong subway, the escalators in the subway weren’t working and I had to walk up a thousand stairs, we had a run in with the law (Fran can explain later why she didn’t have money on her metro card) and then when we got home the pizza was cold. However cold pizza is still good pizza, so there’s that. Also we didn’t get shivved. What a great day!

– Jada

Jan 24th

“Hi Yay-da!” – Frankie’s warning call before she starts ransacking Jada’s room

I snuck into mummy and daddy’s bed last night and then woke up before they did, but my daddy must have heard me because he picked me up before I could punch him in the face with my milk bottle.  He made me breakfast and let me watch Sesame Street which I’m really starting to get into. It’s no Peppa Pig but it’s ok to watch with my cheerios.

Mummy then woke up and I got to do some walking practice. My walking is getting much better, but I still enjoy trying to run the last few steps and then throwing myself at mummy or daddy. They catch me every time. According to my daddy “I haven’t learnt my lesson yet” whatever that means.

Our first stop when we went outside today was at a sea, air and space museum. I think it was more a playdate for my daddy than for me. My daddy and my Jada went into a submarine which they said was as roomy and comfortable as the inside of the plane that bought us here. Then we looked at some fighter jets and even a space shuttle and my daddy kept singing about the highway to the danger zone.  But we took a train to lunch so I don’t know what he was talking about.

Lunch today was special fish and chips and I joined the lobster scouts with my sister Jada. I think she was surprised because she just wanted a kids meal but secretly I think she liked having crayons to colour in with. I prefer to eat them but that’s just me.

After lunch we stopped at a football place which seemed to just be another daddy playdate to be honest. He was very spoiled today. Anyway I got to play with my favourite person in the mirror – me – and my mummy and my daddy and my Jada did a lot of jumping and throwing and other stuff. We also got to watch a very loud movie where the chairs moved around and it even snowed inside. So even though it was for my daddy I still had a good time. I just wish he’d pick a football team and stick with it. He has more hats than me and I have at least 2.

We then went home for a while so I could have a big rest before dinner. It was just as well because my mummy had booked dinner at a very fancy restaurant in Times Square. I sat in the flashest baby seat I’ve ever seen and my mummy and my daddy and my Jada had food which didn’t look like real food but I think that’s how you tell it’s really good. Anyway I didn’t have to eat it because my mummy bought my dinner for me, although I did eat some of my Jada’s chicken because her and I share everything, including all of the stuff in her room.

I then went home on the train with my daddy, because my mummy and my Jada have gone to see a show. I couldn’t go because I’m very noisy and it’s after my bedtime and I need to wake up early so I can wake everyone else up. So good night! Mwah!

– Frankie

Jan 23rd

“I guarantee you someone is gonna wind up with my foot up their ass” – guy on the phone walking down Lexington Ave

This morning we decided to take it easy as Brent and Jada have a date with Broadway tonight. Jada decided to head back to bed (up late watching wrestling) and Brent and I took Frankie for a walk in the rain to get a decent coffee ten blocks down the road. Fortunately it is a nice walk alongside Central Park, and the reward was well worth it. Frankie even sprung for the coffee.

About 11:30 we kicked off our adventure part of the day and jumped on the subway to 51st St. I was ‘this’ close to having a photo of Brent sprawled on the subway platform after falling out the doors as they opened (perils of playing fruit games on the subway). Luckily for him, he caught himself just in time.

It is currently Restaurant Week in New York and you can get a $29 three course meal for lunch. Today we had a booking for Strip House. I was of the understanding it was a steak house, but upon arrival I was slightly concerned by the painted ladies on the door. Entering into the restaurant there are some pictures of very glam ladies with little in the way of clothing. The hostess did not appear to blink an eye at our decision to bring children into the establishment (quote from Jada as we walked in – “I am five years old and I am calling the police”). So it turns out it used to be a salubrious house, but has now turned into a very fancy steak restaurant. The pics on the wall are to pay tribute to the history of the place. The prices for steak on ‘special’ were $55 and $72 USD so I was grateful we had the fixed price menu in front of us.

Jada decided on a cheeseburger, and Frankie as usual was happy to eat from everyone’s plate. She even managed to skull a drink while waiting for her dessert. We then headed off to Barnes and Noble, a book shop that allows small children to crawl on the floor and play with the toys for sale. Large children are able to read books and drink coffee. Needless to say we have spent a bit of time in there.

Brent and Jada decided to have some Daddy/Daughter time in the afternoon, which basically meant they went somewhere to play on their phones before Wicked kicked off. Frankie and I decided to walk up to Central Park and check out the zoo. I had all these ideas in my head from watching Madagascar and the zoo unfortunately did not meet my DreamWorks imagination. We made it in time for the seal show though which Frankie loved – they clap hands just like her!

I had already walked 40 blocks today so decided to walk the rest of the way home through the park (another 30). At 9 degrees Celsius it was a ‘warm’ day and there were a lot of other people out and about as well. Unfortunately about halfway home it decided to pour with rain but Frankie and I powered through. I just kept thinking of all the three course meals I am going to be eating this week!

– Fran

Jan 22nd

“I left my wallet AND my metro card at home” – Fran (‘insert eye roll here’) Stowers realising she’s not perfect on the subway this morning

I have an almost perfect wife. For example, last Christmas she got me a helicopter flight around New York, which I did this morning. It was a bit hazy, and I was sitting next to an Englishman who was fighting with his wife over the intercom because he got stuck in the middle seat at the back and she was up front with the pilot (“just point the fucking go-pro out the window and press the fucking button Liz!”) – but holy shit, I was flying around New York in a helicopter.

Fran also found out a while ago that it was restaurant week in New York this week. For lunch today, we hit an Italian place with an outrageous Spaghetti Pescatora and desserts that convinced us to skip dinner tonight. Frankie is becoming a bread expert and hardly threw any on the ground, which is a good sign in any restaurant.

Frankie and Jada also had a good day. Frankie got to run amok in one of New York’s oldest toy stores, and found a PlayMobil set with an uncanny resemblance to her own family.

Jada gave her mum a call, got her nails done and shopped up a storm. Because it’s her Mum’s birthday (happy birthday Kim) she’s decided she needs to watch the 25^th anniversary of WWE Monday Night Raw tonight.  I don’t mind as long as she doesn’t suplex Frankie off the couch. If you understand what any of that means, you’re probably watching it as well.

Later this week we have several Broadway shows booked, more restaurants to try out and a full day of shopping before we leave. Guess who arranged all that? Almost makes it worth the eye rolls.

– Brent

Jan 21st

“Hey old girl, I hear you been swingin’ from the chandelier again, then you gone and hurt your ankle” – one old lady to another with a walking stick, on their way to church…

This morning it was my Daddy’s turn to wake up early, so I didn’t sleep in. Besides we had to get up early for church. Mummy said we were going on the Harlem Gospel walking tour. My Jada said she wasn’t coming. My Jada is allergic to walking, but she does have a sore leg from all the walking yesterday so I said it was ok for her to stay at home.

We caught the bus to the start of the tour and Daddy went to find some coffee. It must not have tasted very nice because he had a sour look on his face. He also bought me some little donuts covered in sugar. I love my Daddy.

The lady running the tour started talking, so I decided to have a nap in my stroller. My Mummy and Daddy found it very interesting as she talked about how gospel music started. While I slept they went past lots of cool places like the Apollo Theatre and the first church built in America for African Americans. There was also lots of cartoons which my Daddy said were street art. One of them mentioned something about me calling my Daddy lawyer if I ever got arrested.

So I woke up just in time for church, and boy am I glad I did. It was full of people clapping their hands and singing and dancing. They really got into it and so did I. Then the sermon started and Mummy said I had to sit still. I lost my shizzle, so we left.

We decided to walk home through Central Park and we found a playground. It had a really big slide and I had lots of fun crawling around and looking at the other kids.

We then went home and picked up a pizza and some cheesy bread for my Jada along the way. The cheesy bread was awesome.

This afternoon there was a lot of cleaning happening, so I helped Mummy sort the washing while Daddy watched the footy. My Jada and I decided to keep him company while Mummy went to the laundromat to read her book. Afterwards I went with Mummy and helped with the shopping. Tonight is more footy, so my Daddy has given me a bath and said I have to go to bed.

Good luck Daddy!

– Frankie

Jan 20th

“Ma’am, you don’t want to sit here – this is the quiet carriage” – said the conductor on the train, just as we had managed to get ourselves, the baby, the 16 yr old, the pram and three days worth of crap onto the train back to New York…

So I am going to start at the beginning of our day, it’s just easier and hopefully I won’t leave anything out. It started out to be a spectacular day, as Frankie managed to sleep all the way through the night to 6:30am. Refreshed, and trying to give Brent and Jada a bit of a sleep in, we snuck out of the hotel room and headed down to find some coffee and a hot chocolate. After watching the last set of the Federer match with a cup of tea in the lobby, Frankie and I headed out for an hour long walk, ending up at the coffee place across the road from our hotel.

After getting Brent and Jada up and at em’, we headed out for a hearty Sunday breakfast at Founding Farmers DC. They had a healthy cocktail menu and some free range, locally sourced goods, and a delicious breakfast was had by all. We wandered back to the hotel via the White House just to make sure that Donald was doing something about the Government shut down.

As it was nice and warm, we caught an Uber to a playground that (according to Yelp) did not have too many homeless people, was relatively clean and needle free, and had some little swings that Frankie could go on. As we arrived, Frankie promptly fell asleep and needed a bit of cajoling to get going again.

It was time to head to the train station, via Capitol Hill, to make sure those Democrats were not cheesing off on a Sunday (they were). The building itself was pretty amazing though, and Brent was very impressed by the Supreme Court.

We arrived at the train station to a bunch of police tape, a dozen cop cars, three times as many cops, and two chicks up a flagpole. Yesterday it was anti-abortion day, and today it was Women against Trump day. I was cheering for the two chicks up the flag pole.

We headed inside for a spot of lunch before we jumped back on the train. Someone tried to kill Jada by placing a singular piece of lettuce on her Shake Shack burger. Luckily she found it in time. All in all, a pretty good day right? Until – THE TRAIN…..

Firstly, Brent decided it was time to kick off his own protest about having to line up with other people who had the audacity to travel to New York on the same train as him (insert eye roll here). Secondly, the guy in the elevator decided he was suddenly in a rush to get off and catch the same train as us and had to push past Brent and the pram with his two suitcases, almost getting jammed in the elevator as a result. Thirdly, we finally managed to pile all our crap into the train and get four seats together when the conductor had the audacity to suggest that Frankie might not be quiet in the “quiet carriage” on the three and a half hour journey. Brent was having trouble keeping quiet at the conductor. Two carriages down, two trips back to our original spot for an abandoned sippy cup and Brent’s abandoned iPad, we settled down for the trip. This was when I had my first bottle of wine.

An announcement came on saying that a phone had been found and to let the conductor know if you had lost it. Knowing Brent and Jada, I asked both of them if they had theirs and they answered in the affirmative. Frankie then decided to do a gigantic crap and despite the staff insisting there were change rooms in every toilet, there were none. Jada then piped up that she couldn’t find her phone. Funnily enough, the conductor had it (insert eye roll here). This was when I had my second bottle of wine.

We went to get off the train in New York and Brent asked me where I put the house keys. I told him I didn’t have them, he locked up remember? Brent and I then proceeded to pull everything out of our bags. No keys. The train had pulled into New York, so we got off, found a quiet spot in the subway station and pulled everything out of our bags for the second time. No keys. Brent also realised he had no phone (insert eye roll here). Brent raced back down to the platform to see the train had left the station. Jada went to put something in the front pocket of her bag and realised that she had the keys in there. I started looking for a place that sells wine.

Up to the Amtrak customer service desk to find out where Brent’s phone was travelling to. The Amtrak guys were very helpful to Brent, whose distress was at a level where he was comparing losing his phone to losing one of his children (insert eye roll here). They looked up the train and found it was about to leave from another platform. Brent and the friendly Station Manager, Jermaine, ran down to the platform, with Jermaine radioing ahead to stop the train as it was pulling out of the station. They both jumped on board to search and Brent found his phone in the seat pocket where he had left it. He, Jermaine and the train driver hugged it out (literally), then headed back upstairs. It was almost like a script from Mission Impossible, almost.

We are now at home. Tomorrow I am going out to purchase duct tape. God bless alcohol and eye rolls…

– Fran

Jan 19th

“God bless your baby” – some protest dude I would never let near a baby

Hey yes, me again. Been like, a day, right? Well it’s my turn on the blog again somehow. Don’t ask. And it isn’t a New York blog today, rather a Washington one!

This morning started with a search for a decent coffee for Dad. I wasn’t a fan of it, but if a proper coffee will put Dad in a good mood for the day, then I will physically kill a man to find it. Fortunately, it didn’t come to that. I also got a nice crepe out of it.

Being in a new place meant seeing a whole bunch of new things, like big fancy buildings, statues of people that were probably important and the White House, the whitest house in the USA.

One of the statues was Lafayette, America’s favorite fighting Frenchman. How do I know that? Hamilton! Although he looks a lot less cool as a statue. I guess musicals aren’t meant to be historically accurate.

The sights also consisted of millions of people flooding the streets to protest against abortion. Dad and I adopted our covers from the spy museum to infiltrate the protest for the sake of a critical selfie. We managed to get it successfully, but had to take heaps of flyers which Dad then threw in the bin. A wise choice – he could’ve waited until we were out of sight!

The protestors managed to flood the streets so much we weren’t able to take the bus like we planned. It made Fran frustrated which is unusual, and Dad frustrated which was as per usual. It also meant we had to walk around the streets again. I’m getting fit despite my intention to never be fit, ever. I’m here for a fun time, not a long time. We then went shopping and I got some sick kicks. Fran and Dad also got some stuff which was less sick.

I bet you were expecting a politics joke in here somewhere. Jokes on you, I don’t know anything about politics. I also don’t know how to end this blog. So…

– Jada

Jan 18th

“It’s the pointy pentagon!” – Fran loses sightseeing bingo despite spotting the Washington Memorial first

Frankie has dictated the wake-up time for at least one of us every day since we’ve been here, usually before 5am. This morning we needed to get up at 6am to catch the train to Washington, and of course Frankie was fast asleep. She loudly expressed her resentment at being woken up and death stared me all the way to the subway – however it was early, so I took a deep breath, swallowed what I wanted to say and moved on.

We got downtown and had an accidentally expensive breakfast. How does that happen? Well the café looks like shit on the outside, but inside they’re shooting for a Michelin star and you don’t realise until the jackets are off and Frankie’s already chewing on the menu. Jada casually ordered oatmeal ($16) with fruit (make that $19) and then wondered why I made her eat every blueberry on the plate. She also said the orange juice was “too orangey” – however it was early, so I took a deep breath, swallowed what I wanted to say and moved on.

Penn St Station in New York is a zoo. I’d had some experience when I went to Boston last weekend, so we lined up in front of the big monitor while we waited to find out what track our train would be on. 5 minutes before departure, track 12W flashes up and 500 people rush for the escalator. We managed to shoulder our way through and were trying to sort seats, baggage, pram and baby out in a sea of humanity, when I looked down and Jada was trying to connect her iPad to the Wi-Fi.

I checked my watch. It was no longer early. I said what I wanted to say.

Safe to say, Jada was extremely helpful for the rest of the day. Even Frankie did some work on her laptop.

We got to Washington just after lunch and everyone followed me towards the hotel. 15 minutes later we were walking back past the train station as once again I had taken us in exactly the wrong direction. I don’t know why Fran still lets me lead the way, I suspect she’s just humouring me, like when she lets me accidentally order spicy food.

On the way to the hotel we checked out the International Spy Museum, where they ask you to assume a cover identity as part of the experience. Right from the start I made Jada assume the cover of a 12-year-old to save $5 on admission. I was still stinging from breakfast.

The museum was definitely one of the better ones we’ve visited, with lots of interactive exhibits and a whole floor dedicated to James Bond. Fran and Frankie disappeared into a tunnel and Jada disappeared entirely for about 15 minutes, but eventually we made it out with our covers intact and found the Hilton.

Jada’s super excited about sleeping on a real bed for the first time in 18 days – she’s on an air bed in New York – but I don’t think she’s as excited by her bedmate, particularly when Frankie takes her stinky socks off beside her. Where the hell did she learn that?

White House sights tomorrow. I’m gonna tweet Donald now to see if he’s around.

– Brent

Jan 17th

“Sssssshhhh” – random jerks at the theatre who hate fun

After managing to get myself to roll out of bed and eat enough sugary cereal to get through the day, we were off into the great unknown.

And by great unknown I mean just outside.

It was snowing but it wasn’t quite “freezing to death cold” so after our usual coffee stop we made our way over to Lego World. Despite the name, it wasn’t made out of Lego itself but instead there were so-called brick technicians who sold Lego. Frankly I found that a little disappointing, but I suppose a store made from Lego wouldn’t be good for your feet.

After that Dad and I parted ways with Fran and Frankie to head to the Nintendo store, which was my my idea of course. I learned Dad had a natural skill at Mario Kart and then I also learned it was on the easiest mode available.

After a while of me gawking at everything we decided to get pizza at a nice small pizza place right across from the theatre. It was really good pizza. On the pizza scale there is everything else, pizza and then good pizza. This was top tier pizza.

And then finally it was SHOW TIME!

Hamilton was everything I expected it to be and more. For those who don’t know I’ve been obsessing about this show for years and there’s not a detail of this show of which I am not fully aware. It was amazing to see it in person.

I can’t say the best part without spoilers, so you will need to go get some money and watch it yourself. Or watch it on YouTube. I don’t care, I’m not the police.

– Jada